All these things I didn't do
by CyaSunn
Summary: A short list of 20 things Sara didn't do during her relationship with Catherine. /Femslash/


Author: CyaSunn

Rating: T, I suppose.

Genre: It's romance, but it's sad.

Pairing: Sara / Catherine

Warning: It's Femslash, so if you mind, please don't read it.

Summary: A short list of 20 things Sara didn't do during her relationship with Catherine.

Disclaimer: I own none of the CSI stuff and I earn no money writing this.

Dedication: This should be dedicated to the one girl I honestly truly love, but as long as she changed so much she actually doesn't exist anymore, I can't dedicated it to her. So I dedicate this to the former self of the girl I fell in love with so long time ago.

A/N: English isn't my first language, so please be patient, I've tried my very best.

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**All these things I didn't do**

First, I didn't say "I love you" a hundred times a day, because I was too afraid to be at your mercy. (But I clearly was anyway.)

Second, I didn't kiss you secretly in the lab restrooms, because I thought you may think I'm out of control and totally crazy. (I was crazy for you.)

Third, I didn't buy you a bunch of thousand roses, because I thought it would be too sappy. (You would have probably liked it.)

Fourth, I didn't scream my love to you out loud in the streets, because I was too afraid about what the neighbours may think. (I'd better gave a shit.)

Fifth, I didn't write "I love Catherine Willows and she loves me back" on the black board, because it isn't very professional and "a little crush" shouldn't bring me to change my whole behaviour, right? (Well, it wasn't only a little crush.)

Sixth, I didn't declare my deep love to you in front of the whole lab, because I thought it may ruin our careers. (Which I now know isn't important in any way.)

Seventh, I didn't get you that flower you wanted to have for years, but never found anywhere, because I thought it would be to much effort for a stupid little flower. (It would have been worth it.)

Eighth, I didn't make love to you when I had the chance to, because I was afraid. (But I dreamed of it.)

Ninth, I didn't lay on my bed with you talking about everything that came to our minds every time I had the chance to, because I didn't realize there would be a time when I'm not able to anymore. (Now that time has come.)

Tenth, I didn't fight with the guys about them not liking me to be your girlfriend, because I thought their opinion wasn't important as long as we were in love. (It actually was.)

Eleventh, I didn't get you sweet little animals who say "I love you" when you press them, because I thought you would think I'm way too crazy for you. (You may were attracted to my craziness that time.)

Twelfth, I didn't take you out on a romantic date every night we had off together, because I thought you weren't interested. (But you were.)

Thirteenth, I didn't find new words to express the love I feel for you, because I thought you would know without me saying it. (You obviously didn't.)

Fourteenth, I didn't get a microphone from somewhere to sing my self-written love song for you, because I can't sing and I write bad songs and I didn't want to make a fool out of myself. (Actually, I was already a fool, because I didn't see how you were slipping away from me with every little thing I didn't do.)

Fifteenth, I didn't draw little hearts with your name in it all the time, because the love I felt for you was way more than a little crush. (And it still is.)

Sixteenth, I didn't bring you a self-prepared dinner when you were ill, because I can't cook that good and I thought you wanted to be alone. (My cooking wouldn't have been important.)

Seventeenth, I didn't count the seconds we were apart. (I count the days we're not together anymore. It's exacely 474 days by now.)

Eighteenth, I didn't throw little pebbles against your window in the middle of the night, because I thought it would be childish and way too romantic. (But that's probably what you dreamed of.)

Nineteenth, I didn't notice you were fallen for me until I fell in love with you myself, because I was blind and stupid. (I regret.)

Twentieth, I didn't fight to get you back, because I know you need to be alone now. (Everyday I wonder why I'm doing this, because it hurts so much, but then I remember I'm doing this one thing for you.)

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_Hope you liked it!  
_

_Sunny XXX_

_P.S. There's also a sequel to this, named "All these things I did", so if you would like to read it, please tell me by writing a short review. I also appreciate reviews with constructive criticism. :)  
_


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